The world has become a cold place to live. Leaves fell, flowers died, grass is dormant, and now we wait for what is to come. Last time I posted, the life was just starting, the season began. Dreams were big, and hot from the bright sun that woke me up in the stuffy apartment in Chicago, ready to live another 115* F day. It got so hot up there earlier this summer!
When I dream, I dream big. I either want to go big, or not go at all. In some ways this can be good. In other ways, not so much. Because I get let down by my own personal expectations for myself, to be in places that, I simply, cannot get to when and how I want to. I have been told that I am "unrealistic" and dream too much, while I have also been told, I am too limiting on myself. Which is it? And which direction do I go? The Law Of Attraction is all about imagining your wildest dreams, and they will become a reality. That has not happened.
I packed my car, and moved last minute to Muncie, no job, and a little money. Thanks to some amazing friends helping me out, I was able to be there for awhile and figure things out. Met a great girl, we talked, and had a great connection, then due to a series of unfortunate events, some my own fault, I just had to come back. Things with the girl just wasn't realistic, and we just weren't as compatible as initially imagined. Still, in October, no job, etc. Looking at other friends from college, they have what I call "big boy" or "big girl" jobs. Some in downtown Chicago. I just got a job bagging groceries, and I am grateful to put gas in the car, with my degree. And it's very discouraging. The expectations, the dreams, the wants, seem to be coming to others. It just makes me think abut things. Yes, some mistakes I have made, and learned from. Some is out of my control. Now I will go into some things, in which I believe is pretty universal in humanity.
Success/Wealth: I've eaten with, talked to, hugged, and built relationships with homeless people whom haven't showered in weeks, I've been in the neighborhoods in Chicago at 10 pm, getting chicken from my favorite chicken joint, places many wouldn't even go into in the bright of day, I met people there, and we built a connection. Once when Dunkin' Donuts was closing, I met a worker behind the store, and took a huge trash bag of doughnuts and muffins, they'd otherwise throw away. Walking down the dark alley, to share with my dorm mates, I heard a voice call out from the shadows. Two homeless people, one in a wheelchair whom didn't speak well, must have had a stroke. It was February. We ate and talked, and we always remembered each other. I've also had a knife drawn out on me, held up to me, and I ended up talking myself out of it, and ways were parted.
I've also been inside million dollar homes, met big name community leaders in the city, driven a Mercedes a few times, sailed in Maine, had drinks in Chicago's most expensive hotel in a big room with live jazz (the drinks were glasses of ice water- but still)... I've been places and seen things, some I could show you and take you, others I wouldn't. Some people shouldn't see some of those things that go on.
I have big dreams. Yes, a nice home, preferably in Florida, a nice car- I have a nice car, but I am talking about the European luxury makes, maybe a boat one day, and the ability to travel.
Just seems hard to imagine pushing carts into the store at this point, how can it all be possible? I look at people, they seem to have it all together. They have house, cars, family, vacation home, diversified investment portfolios...they will tell you "Noooo I don't have it all together..." They must be doing something right, if they can have this and sustain themselves...
I will say this... if I DO become successful to the point of wealthiness, some peoples' worlds are going to get rocked in a good way! Businesses will be brought back, churches started, communities revitalized, dear friends will be helped, people in Africa without good water, will experience what good water is like. Of course my family and I will be taken care of, but the world and society will be blessed big time.
Love: I believe, no matter who you are... where you are in life, we ALL deserve love. Not love as in the universal love- yes we deserve that- that's a given in my book. I am talking about significant other love. In the Bible, there are many good stories. One of the first ones, was about Adam and Eve... Adam started work, he named all the creatures, then was blessed with Eve... they were fruitful and multiplied... what an amazing gift, an amazing experience. Something I very much hope I am blessed with. Eventually a family- with lil kids. It's a beautiful thing that- just seems amazing. No, it won't be perfect, but it is beautiful. The good, the bad, the hard, the easy. It's something I believe humans were designed to experience.
I am waiting, and I feel like I have waited quite some time now. Things have yet to fall into place. I feel like where I am now, is temporary. I just have no idea what is to come. No, I do not feel on top of the world. I fight to stay happy, it's a minute by minute thing in which I fight to keep going with an inner smile. I am not ungrateful. By no means am I ungrateful. I just keep feeling like there is more, and it is not even close to what it ought to be.
Life after college is not what I imagined. It may never be. I have no idea right now. Love, and success are all things we want. I wish there was a detailed description of how to get there. What moves to make, who to talk to, etc. Yes, wealth is great, I could be the richest guy in the world, and I will still go to my favorite chicken joint in Chicago, buyin a 2 piece meal fried hard for the brother who's broke, they say money changes people. It will give me an opportunity to not only have fun, but help people out better... so many times I wish I had it in order to help a friend.
This is an update on things. I am in expectation for at least some of these good things to manifest into reality. Until then, I wake up, and I do my thing. I hope to meet new friends to hang out with after moving back here, etc. We shall see. Love and financial peace, I hope will happen sooner than later. One can dream!
When I dream, I dream big. I either want to go big, or not go at all. In some ways this can be good. In other ways, not so much. Because I get let down by my own personal expectations for myself, to be in places that, I simply, cannot get to when and how I want to. I have been told that I am "unrealistic" and dream too much, while I have also been told, I am too limiting on myself. Which is it? And which direction do I go? The Law Of Attraction is all about imagining your wildest dreams, and they will become a reality. That has not happened.
I packed my car, and moved last minute to Muncie, no job, and a little money. Thanks to some amazing friends helping me out, I was able to be there for awhile and figure things out. Met a great girl, we talked, and had a great connection, then due to a series of unfortunate events, some my own fault, I just had to come back. Things with the girl just wasn't realistic, and we just weren't as compatible as initially imagined. Still, in October, no job, etc. Looking at other friends from college, they have what I call "big boy" or "big girl" jobs. Some in downtown Chicago. I just got a job bagging groceries, and I am grateful to put gas in the car, with my degree. And it's very discouraging. The expectations, the dreams, the wants, seem to be coming to others. It just makes me think abut things. Yes, some mistakes I have made, and learned from. Some is out of my control. Now I will go into some things, in which I believe is pretty universal in humanity.
Success/Wealth: I've eaten with, talked to, hugged, and built relationships with homeless people whom haven't showered in weeks, I've been in the neighborhoods in Chicago at 10 pm, getting chicken from my favorite chicken joint, places many wouldn't even go into in the bright of day, I met people there, and we built a connection. Once when Dunkin' Donuts was closing, I met a worker behind the store, and took a huge trash bag of doughnuts and muffins, they'd otherwise throw away. Walking down the dark alley, to share with my dorm mates, I heard a voice call out from the shadows. Two homeless people, one in a wheelchair whom didn't speak well, must have had a stroke. It was February. We ate and talked, and we always remembered each other. I've also had a knife drawn out on me, held up to me, and I ended up talking myself out of it, and ways were parted.
I've also been inside million dollar homes, met big name community leaders in the city, driven a Mercedes a few times, sailed in Maine, had drinks in Chicago's most expensive hotel in a big room with live jazz (the drinks were glasses of ice water- but still)... I've been places and seen things, some I could show you and take you, others I wouldn't. Some people shouldn't see some of those things that go on.
I have big dreams. Yes, a nice home, preferably in Florida, a nice car- I have a nice car, but I am talking about the European luxury makes, maybe a boat one day, and the ability to travel.
Just seems hard to imagine pushing carts into the store at this point, how can it all be possible? I look at people, they seem to have it all together. They have house, cars, family, vacation home, diversified investment portfolios...they will tell you "Noooo I don't have it all together..." They must be doing something right, if they can have this and sustain themselves...
I will say this... if I DO become successful to the point of wealthiness, some peoples' worlds are going to get rocked in a good way! Businesses will be brought back, churches started, communities revitalized, dear friends will be helped, people in Africa without good water, will experience what good water is like. Of course my family and I will be taken care of, but the world and society will be blessed big time.
Love: I believe, no matter who you are... where you are in life, we ALL deserve love. Not love as in the universal love- yes we deserve that- that's a given in my book. I am talking about significant other love. In the Bible, there are many good stories. One of the first ones, was about Adam and Eve... Adam started work, he named all the creatures, then was blessed with Eve... they were fruitful and multiplied... what an amazing gift, an amazing experience. Something I very much hope I am blessed with. Eventually a family- with lil kids. It's a beautiful thing that- just seems amazing. No, it won't be perfect, but it is beautiful. The good, the bad, the hard, the easy. It's something I believe humans were designed to experience.
I am waiting, and I feel like I have waited quite some time now. Things have yet to fall into place. I feel like where I am now, is temporary. I just have no idea what is to come. No, I do not feel on top of the world. I fight to stay happy, it's a minute by minute thing in which I fight to keep going with an inner smile. I am not ungrateful. By no means am I ungrateful. I just keep feeling like there is more, and it is not even close to what it ought to be.
Life after college is not what I imagined. It may never be. I have no idea right now. Love, and success are all things we want. I wish there was a detailed description of how to get there. What moves to make, who to talk to, etc. Yes, wealth is great, I could be the richest guy in the world, and I will still go to my favorite chicken joint in Chicago, buyin a 2 piece meal fried hard for the brother who's broke, they say money changes people. It will give me an opportunity to not only have fun, but help people out better... so many times I wish I had it in order to help a friend.
This is an update on things. I am in expectation for at least some of these good things to manifest into reality. Until then, I wake up, and I do my thing. I hope to meet new friends to hang out with after moving back here, etc. We shall see. Love and financial peace, I hope will happen sooner than later. One can dream!
