When Do Dreams Manifest Into Reality?

The world has become a cold place to live.  Leaves fell, flowers died, grass is dormant, and now we wait for what is to come.  Last time I posted, the life was just starting, the season began.  Dreams were big, and hot from the bright sun that woke me up in the stuffy apartment in Chicago, ready to live another 115* F day.  It got so hot up there earlier this summer!

When I dream, I dream big.  I either want to go big, or not go at all.  In some ways this can be good.  In other ways, not so much.  Because I get let down by my own personal expectations for myself, to be in places that, I simply, cannot get to when and how I want to.  I have been told that   I am "unrealistic" and dream too much, while I have also been told, I am too limiting on myself.  Which is it?  And which direction do I go?  The Law Of Attraction is all about imagining your wildest dreams, and they will become a reality.  That has not happened.

I packed my car, and moved last minute to Muncie, no job, and a little money.  Thanks to some amazing friends helping me out, I was able to be there for awhile and figure things out.  Met a great girl, we talked, and had a great connection, then due to a series of unfortunate events, some my own fault, I just had to come back.  Things with the girl just wasn't realistic, and we just weren't as compatible as initially imagined.  Still, in October, no job, etc.  Looking at other friends from college, they have what I call "big boy" or "big girl" jobs.  Some in downtown Chicago.  I just got a job bagging groceries, and I am grateful to put gas in the car, with my degree.  And it's very discouraging.  The expectations, the dreams, the wants, seem to be coming to others.  It just makes me think abut things.  Yes, some mistakes I have made, and learned from. Some is out of my control.  Now I will go into some things, in which I believe is pretty universal in humanity.

Success/Wealth:  I've eaten with, talked to, hugged, and built relationships with homeless people whom haven't showered in weeks, I've been in the neighborhoods in Chicago at 10 pm, getting chicken from my favorite chicken joint, places many wouldn't even go into in the bright of day, I met people there, and we built a connection.  Once when Dunkin' Donuts was closing, I met a worker behind the store, and took a huge trash bag of doughnuts and muffins, they'd otherwise throw away.  Walking down the dark alley, to share with my dorm mates, I heard a voice call out from the shadows.  Two homeless people, one in a wheelchair whom didn't speak well, must have had a stroke.  It was February.  We ate and talked, and we always remembered each other.  I've also had a knife drawn out on me, held up to me, and I ended up talking myself out of it, and ways were parted.

I've also been inside million dollar homes, met big name community leaders in the city, driven a Mercedes a few times, sailed in Maine, had drinks in Chicago's most expensive hotel in a big room with live jazz (the drinks were glasses of ice water- but still)... I've been places and seen things, some I could show you and take you, others I wouldn't.  Some people shouldn't see some of those things that go on.

I have big dreams.  Yes, a nice home, preferably in Florida, a nice car- I have a nice car, but I am talking about the European luxury makes, maybe a boat one day, and the ability to travel.

Just seems hard to imagine pushing carts into the store at this point, how can it all be possible?  I look at people, they seem to have it all together.  They have house, cars, family, vacation home, diversified investment portfolios...they will tell you "Noooo I don't have it all together..."  They must be doing something right, if they can have this and sustain themselves...

I will say this... if I DO become successful to the point of wealthiness, some peoples' worlds are going to get rocked in a good way!  Businesses will be brought back, churches started, communities revitalized, dear friends will be helped, people in Africa without good water, will experience what good water is like.  Of course my family and I will be taken care of, but the world and society will be blessed big time.

Love:  I believe, no matter who you are... where you are in life, we ALL deserve love.  Not love as in the universal love- yes we deserve that- that's a given in my book.  I am talking about significant other love.  In the Bible, there are many good stories.  One of the first ones, was about Adam and Eve... Adam started work, he named all the creatures, then was blessed with Eve... they were fruitful and multiplied... what an amazing gift, an amazing experience.  Something I very much hope I am blessed with.  Eventually a family- with lil kids.  It's a beautiful thing that- just seems amazing.  No, it won't be perfect, but it is beautiful.  The good, the bad, the hard, the easy.  It's something I believe humans were designed to experience.

I am waiting, and I feel like I have waited quite some time now.  Things have yet to fall into place.  I feel like where I am now, is temporary.  I just have no idea what is to come.  No, I do not feel on top of the world.  I fight to stay happy, it's a minute by minute thing in which I fight to keep going with an inner smile.  I am not ungrateful.  By no means am I ungrateful.  I just keep feeling like there is more, and it is not even close to what it ought to be.

Life after college is not what I imagined.  It may never be.  I have no idea right now.  Love, and success are all things we want.  I wish there was a detailed description of how to get there.  What moves to make, who to talk to, etc.  Yes, wealth is great, I could be the richest guy in the world, and I will still go to my favorite chicken joint in Chicago, buyin a 2 piece meal fried hard for the brother who's broke, they say money changes people.  It will give me an opportunity to not only have fun, but help people out better... so many times I wish I had it in order to help a friend.

This is an update on things.  I am in expectation for at least some of these good things to manifest into reality.  Until then, I wake up, and I do my thing.  I hope to meet new friends to hang out with after moving back here, etc.  We shall see.  Love and financial peace, I hope will happen sooner than later.  One can dream!  

New Beginnings

This is an entry that I am writing, in order to not only bring awareness, but to also reflect on some interesting things that have gone on.

First of all, on June 17th, 2012 my cousin was killed at age 20.  She was leading a horse tour at a state park in Indiana, when a large tree fell on her.  It was instant.  The wind was calm, maybe 20 mph, sunny day, and she was doing what she loved: riding a horse, and leading good people.  My life was not thinking about this, to be honest.  I was not thinking about anybody really, but my future, and my dreams.  I will admit.  And this situation really brought to my awareness, that life is so much more.  God will do exactly WHAT He wants, WHEN He wants, and His hand will brush our paths, and it will be for our own good, whether WE think it is or not.  There is no choices sometimes, but to lead our lives, following God's mysterious paths.  It really has made me think. I cannot take life for granted, and I asked somebody, in my family 'Why?'

Why THIS family?  21 years ago, my mom died, and now on her side, her niece- or my cousin, on her side follows.  But, why?  My older cousin from North Carolina, she told me, she said that God knows what He is doing.  She touched so many lives, and this event will touch even more, and people will see this situation, and it will make them think... make them realize what really matters in our lives... and remember not to take it for granted, and remember to do what we love.  God chose this family, because He knows we are strong, He knows we can handle it.  We are all believers in God, and He knows that when something like this happens, the world will see this, and see us coming together, we can be the inspiration and the message to everyone, and people will see us.  No, it is not a comfortable situation, I am not very happy at all that it has happened... in fact quite disturbed.  Because I love her, and all of my family for that matter.  But, God knows what He is doing.  God sees the bigger picture, we are up close and see how it affects us, but He sees what is going to happen, and how things are going to play out in the long run.

With that said, this is a new beginning for all of us.  A new beginning for Chelsea, the beginning of eternity.  A new beginning for us left behind, to learn to adapt to this new "normal".  When "normal" is disrupted, and cannot be brought back, we are forced to adapt, and learn a new "normal".  It will NEVER EVER be like it was before.  It is not always comfortable.  But time will heal this situation, and we will learn to live each day, and be happy, like she wants us to be, why?  Because SHE is happy too.  We shouldn't be happy she is not on earth anymore, no, we should be happy, because ultimately SHE is happy, and life is so rich with new blessings, and new good things to happen.

On a different note, today I finished my final class at North Park University.  I went through 16 years of school, many of them, involved being made fun of, and just dealing with mean things being said, and mean actions done to me.  Today, I close this book, and begin to write a new one.  I do not know WHERE or WHAT I will be doing, or WHERE I am going, but life will play itself out, my book will write itself in time.  I have family in North Carolina, friends in Connecticut, and a plane ticket to Los Angeles, CA, and I have no idea where to go.  I know I do not want to live in Indiana the rest of my life.  I love it there, it is so nice, and it will always be home, but I can't limit myself.  I want something new.  There is a country to see, and a world to see.  A beach to sit on, a mountain to look off the top, a valley to rest in.  A lake to swim.  A boat to sail or drive.  A plane to fly in! A cold beer to drink!

Life is hard, but it is beautiful.  The world is a mess, but it is a beautiful mess.  God created it.  We can't sit back and say how evil it is, because then we let the enemy win.  That is his intention is to make us say and believe how evil the world is, because he himself is evil.  The world is ultimately beautiful, because God created it, and ultimately GOD RULES over it, no matter what the enemy tries to do.  Because of free will, bad things happen, and evil takes place in the world, this is not God allowing it to happen, it is God giving us the choice, and the enemy influencing our poor decisions.  I believe humans are through and through good.  Because GOD is good, and we are created in the image of God.  But, the enemy influences our choices, and we do the wrong things.  Not to mention we are deceived so much too.

With that said, I update this, coming out of the wilderness, hoping to find a clear ocean, and a nice beach, though I know it won't be a perfect beach, I hope to find a big sailboat (50 footer) anchored 100 feet out, so I can swim out there, and start my journey on this boat.  There will be folks on the beach, that will board this boat with me, and help me sail, some will jump off and swim different directions, others will stay on, and God will be the wind, keeping us moving forward.



  

Book Review and Call to Action!

1 Peter 3:10-12

For the one who wants to love life and to see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit, and he must turn away from evil and do good.  He must seek peace and pursue it, because the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are open to their request.  But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

"evil" can mean a plethora of things.  There are many "evil" things in this world, that we don't even see as evil.  I'm not going to list things that are "evil" here.  I believe that the Holy Spirit convicts us to discern this.  But I will say that we also need, in order for breakthrough, to consecrate ourselves from the worldly things.  The world is not an evil place in itself.  It is full of diversity, beauty, splendor, and so much to offer.  This is God's colony of the Kingdom of Heaven!  But, the enemy is evil, and full of deceit. His influence is potent in this world.  God wants to restore and call His royal citizens (believers and followers) to be the ultimate influence on the world.  To have the power of the Holy Spirit, to operate in our gifting, to bring the Kingdom Culture to this world. Shine light in the dark places.

I notice many people, stay with people they are like.  We are comfortable with other believers, so we hang out with other believers.  We do not wish to associate with those of different values.  This can be good, in that we want to consecrate ourselves from the ways of the world- or the ways the enemy has influenced the world to do, but also we must be open.  We can be a friend and not partake.  We may not be called to be "ministers" but EVERYONE is called to minister.  So let's go!

Book review:

The Purpose and Power of Prayer by Dr. Myles Munroe

-God in all His power stops and listens when we pray.  God has given mankind earthly license for heavenly interference.  Prayer is essential for God's will to be done on earth.  He causes things- good things to happen on earth, when we are in agreement with His will.  Through his unique perspective on this often-misunderstood subject, Myles Munroe takes the mystery out of prayer, providing practical answers for difficult questions about communicating with God.  Everything you need to fulfill your purpose is available to you through prayer.  The biblically based, time tested principles in this book will ignite and transform the way you pray.