This is an entry that I am writing, in order to not only bring awareness, but to also reflect on some interesting things that have gone on.
First of all, on June 17th, 2012 my cousin was killed at age 20. She was leading a horse tour at a state park in Indiana, when a large tree fell on her. It was instant. The wind was calm, maybe 20 mph, sunny day, and she was doing what she loved: riding a horse, and leading good people. My life was not thinking about this, to be honest. I was not thinking about anybody really, but my future, and my dreams. I will admit. And this situation really brought to my awareness, that life is so much more. God will do exactly WHAT He wants, WHEN He wants, and His hand will brush our paths, and it will be for our own good, whether WE think it is or not. There is no choices sometimes, but to lead our lives, following God's mysterious paths. It really has made me think. I cannot take life for granted, and I asked somebody, in my family 'Why?'
Why THIS family? 21 years ago, my mom died, and now on her side, her niece- or my cousin, on her side follows. But, why? My older cousin from North Carolina, she told me, she said that God knows what He is doing. She touched so many lives, and this event will touch even more, and people will see this situation, and it will make them think... make them realize what really matters in our lives... and remember not to take it for granted, and remember to do what we love. God chose this family, because He knows we are strong, He knows we can handle it. We are all believers in God, and He knows that when something like this happens, the world will see this, and see us coming together, we can be the inspiration and the message to everyone, and people will see us. No, it is not a comfortable situation, I am not very happy at all that it has happened... in fact quite disturbed. Because I love her, and all of my family for that matter. But, God knows what He is doing. God sees the bigger picture, we are up close and see how it affects us, but He sees what is going to happen, and how things are going to play out in the long run.
With that said, this is a new beginning for all of us. A new beginning for Chelsea, the beginning of eternity. A new beginning for us left behind, to learn to adapt to this new "normal". When "normal" is disrupted, and cannot be brought back, we are forced to adapt, and learn a new "normal". It will NEVER EVER be like it was before. It is not always comfortable. But time will heal this situation, and we will learn to live each day, and be happy, like she wants us to be, why? Because SHE is happy too. We shouldn't be happy she is not on earth anymore, no, we should be happy, because ultimately SHE is happy, and life is so rich with new blessings, and new good things to happen.
On a different note, today I finished my final class at North Park University. I went through 16 years of school, many of them, involved being made fun of, and just dealing with mean things being said, and mean actions done to me. Today, I close this book, and begin to write a new one. I do not know WHERE or WHAT I will be doing, or WHERE I am going, but life will play itself out, my book will write itself in time. I have family in North Carolina, friends in Connecticut, and a plane ticket to Los Angeles, CA, and I have no idea where to go. I know I do not want to live in Indiana the rest of my life. I love it there, it is so nice, and it will always be home, but I can't limit myself. I want something new. There is a country to see, and a world to see. A beach to sit on, a mountain to look off the top, a valley to rest in. A lake to swim. A boat to sail or drive. A plane to fly in! A cold beer to drink!
Life is hard, but it is beautiful. The world is a mess, but it is a beautiful mess. God created it. We can't sit back and say how evil it is, because then we let the enemy win. That is his intention is to make us say and believe how evil the world is, because he himself is evil. The world is ultimately beautiful, because God created it, and ultimately GOD RULES over it, no matter what the enemy tries to do. Because of free will, bad things happen, and evil takes place in the world, this is not God allowing it to happen, it is God giving us the choice, and the enemy influencing our poor decisions. I believe humans are through and through good. Because GOD is good, and we are created in the image of God. But, the enemy influences our choices, and we do the wrong things. Not to mention we are deceived so much too.
With that said, I update this, coming out of the wilderness, hoping to find a clear ocean, and a nice beach, though I know it won't be a perfect beach, I hope to find a big sailboat (50 footer) anchored 100 feet out, so I can swim out there, and start my journey on this boat. There will be folks on the beach, that will board this boat with me, and help me sail, some will jump off and swim different directions, others will stay on, and God will be the wind, keeping us moving forward.
First of all, on June 17th, 2012 my cousin was killed at age 20. She was leading a horse tour at a state park in Indiana, when a large tree fell on her. It was instant. The wind was calm, maybe 20 mph, sunny day, and she was doing what she loved: riding a horse, and leading good people. My life was not thinking about this, to be honest. I was not thinking about anybody really, but my future, and my dreams. I will admit. And this situation really brought to my awareness, that life is so much more. God will do exactly WHAT He wants, WHEN He wants, and His hand will brush our paths, and it will be for our own good, whether WE think it is or not. There is no choices sometimes, but to lead our lives, following God's mysterious paths. It really has made me think. I cannot take life for granted, and I asked somebody, in my family 'Why?'
Why THIS family? 21 years ago, my mom died, and now on her side, her niece- or my cousin, on her side follows. But, why? My older cousin from North Carolina, she told me, she said that God knows what He is doing. She touched so many lives, and this event will touch even more, and people will see this situation, and it will make them think... make them realize what really matters in our lives... and remember not to take it for granted, and remember to do what we love. God chose this family, because He knows we are strong, He knows we can handle it. We are all believers in God, and He knows that when something like this happens, the world will see this, and see us coming together, we can be the inspiration and the message to everyone, and people will see us. No, it is not a comfortable situation, I am not very happy at all that it has happened... in fact quite disturbed. Because I love her, and all of my family for that matter. But, God knows what He is doing. God sees the bigger picture, we are up close and see how it affects us, but He sees what is going to happen, and how things are going to play out in the long run.
With that said, this is a new beginning for all of us. A new beginning for Chelsea, the beginning of eternity. A new beginning for us left behind, to learn to adapt to this new "normal". When "normal" is disrupted, and cannot be brought back, we are forced to adapt, and learn a new "normal". It will NEVER EVER be like it was before. It is not always comfortable. But time will heal this situation, and we will learn to live each day, and be happy, like she wants us to be, why? Because SHE is happy too. We shouldn't be happy she is not on earth anymore, no, we should be happy, because ultimately SHE is happy, and life is so rich with new blessings, and new good things to happen.
On a different note, today I finished my final class at North Park University. I went through 16 years of school, many of them, involved being made fun of, and just dealing with mean things being said, and mean actions done to me. Today, I close this book, and begin to write a new one. I do not know WHERE or WHAT I will be doing, or WHERE I am going, but life will play itself out, my book will write itself in time. I have family in North Carolina, friends in Connecticut, and a plane ticket to Los Angeles, CA, and I have no idea where to go. I know I do not want to live in Indiana the rest of my life. I love it there, it is so nice, and it will always be home, but I can't limit myself. I want something new. There is a country to see, and a world to see. A beach to sit on, a mountain to look off the top, a valley to rest in. A lake to swim. A boat to sail or drive. A plane to fly in! A cold beer to drink!
Life is hard, but it is beautiful. The world is a mess, but it is a beautiful mess. God created it. We can't sit back and say how evil it is, because then we let the enemy win. That is his intention is to make us say and believe how evil the world is, because he himself is evil. The world is ultimately beautiful, because God created it, and ultimately GOD RULES over it, no matter what the enemy tries to do. Because of free will, bad things happen, and evil takes place in the world, this is not God allowing it to happen, it is God giving us the choice, and the enemy influencing our poor decisions. I believe humans are through and through good. Because GOD is good, and we are created in the image of God. But, the enemy influences our choices, and we do the wrong things. Not to mention we are deceived so much too.
With that said, I update this, coming out of the wilderness, hoping to find a clear ocean, and a nice beach, though I know it won't be a perfect beach, I hope to find a big sailboat (50 footer) anchored 100 feet out, so I can swim out there, and start my journey on this boat. There will be folks on the beach, that will board this boat with me, and help me sail, some will jump off and swim different directions, others will stay on, and God will be the wind, keeping us moving forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment