My Values

These are my values in which I read about, and picked. I will write an excerpt on them all.

Creativity: To expand our potential, and go beyond the horizon.

Fairness: We all deserve to have our hearts' desires.

Faith: If you're an atheist, you have faith that there is no God. If you're spiritual, you have faith in a higher power, thus faith is inevitable.

Intimacy: Humanity was designed for this from the beginning with Adam and Eve, for man and woman to be fruitful and multiply, and to have that other half, and experience real intimacy with somebody.

Love: From romance to brotherly/sisterly love, to universal love, it is essential, and is something we need, in fact we need every form of love to thrive. 

Honesty: Why lie? It destroys the world and comes back to haunt us.

Inspiration: Desire to inspire!

Kindness: Genuine kindness does wonders.

Spirituality: Inspired by God Himself!

Openness: Transparency is key in any relationship.

Passion: This ignites flames in love, inspiration, creativity, work, everything. Many times children are born due to this value :)

Warmth: Better than cold...

Happiness: We ALL deserve this, in any point. Whatever it is, wherever we may find it.

Loyalty: From a Cubs fan, to marriage, and relationships, to doing business with a trusted, and good company, loyalty is essential and pays off dividends thousandfold eventually. 

When Do Dreams Manifest Into Reality?

The world has become a cold place to live.  Leaves fell, flowers died, grass is dormant, and now we wait for what is to come.  Last time I posted, the life was just starting, the season began.  Dreams were big, and hot from the bright sun that woke me up in the stuffy apartment in Chicago, ready to live another 115* F day.  It got so hot up there earlier this summer!

When I dream, I dream big.  I either want to go big, or not go at all.  In some ways this can be good.  In other ways, not so much.  Because I get let down by my own personal expectations for myself, to be in places that, I simply, cannot get to when and how I want to.  I have been told that   I am "unrealistic" and dream too much, while I have also been told, I am too limiting on myself.  Which is it?  And which direction do I go?  The Law Of Attraction is all about imagining your wildest dreams, and they will become a reality.  That has not happened.

I packed my car, and moved last minute to Muncie, no job, and a little money.  Thanks to some amazing friends helping me out, I was able to be there for awhile and figure things out.  Met a great girl, we talked, and had a great connection, then due to a series of unfortunate events, some my own fault, I just had to come back.  Things with the girl just wasn't realistic, and we just weren't as compatible as initially imagined.  Still, in October, no job, etc.  Looking at other friends from college, they have what I call "big boy" or "big girl" jobs.  Some in downtown Chicago.  I just got a job bagging groceries, and I am grateful to put gas in the car, with my degree.  And it's very discouraging.  The expectations, the dreams, the wants, seem to be coming to others.  It just makes me think abut things.  Yes, some mistakes I have made, and learned from. Some is out of my control.  Now I will go into some things, in which I believe is pretty universal in humanity.

Success/Wealth:  I've eaten with, talked to, hugged, and built relationships with homeless people whom haven't showered in weeks, I've been in the neighborhoods in Chicago at 10 pm, getting chicken from my favorite chicken joint, places many wouldn't even go into in the bright of day, I met people there, and we built a connection.  Once when Dunkin' Donuts was closing, I met a worker behind the store, and took a huge trash bag of doughnuts and muffins, they'd otherwise throw away.  Walking down the dark alley, to share with my dorm mates, I heard a voice call out from the shadows.  Two homeless people, one in a wheelchair whom didn't speak well, must have had a stroke.  It was February.  We ate and talked, and we always remembered each other.  I've also had a knife drawn out on me, held up to me, and I ended up talking myself out of it, and ways were parted.

I've also been inside million dollar homes, met big name community leaders in the city, driven a Mercedes a few times, sailed in Maine, had drinks in Chicago's most expensive hotel in a big room with live jazz (the drinks were glasses of ice water- but still)... I've been places and seen things, some I could show you and take you, others I wouldn't.  Some people shouldn't see some of those things that go on.

I have big dreams.  Yes, a nice home, preferably in Florida, a nice car- I have a nice car, but I am talking about the European luxury makes, maybe a boat one day, and the ability to travel.

Just seems hard to imagine pushing carts into the store at this point, how can it all be possible?  I look at people, they seem to have it all together.  They have house, cars, family, vacation home, diversified investment portfolios...they will tell you "Noooo I don't have it all together..."  They must be doing something right, if they can have this and sustain themselves...

I will say this... if I DO become successful to the point of wealthiness, some peoples' worlds are going to get rocked in a good way!  Businesses will be brought back, churches started, communities revitalized, dear friends will be helped, people in Africa without good water, will experience what good water is like.  Of course my family and I will be taken care of, but the world and society will be blessed big time.

Love:  I believe, no matter who you are... where you are in life, we ALL deserve love.  Not love as in the universal love- yes we deserve that- that's a given in my book.  I am talking about significant other love.  In the Bible, there are many good stories.  One of the first ones, was about Adam and Eve... Adam started work, he named all the creatures, then was blessed with Eve... they were fruitful and multiplied... what an amazing gift, an amazing experience.  Something I very much hope I am blessed with.  Eventually a family- with lil kids.  It's a beautiful thing that- just seems amazing.  No, it won't be perfect, but it is beautiful.  The good, the bad, the hard, the easy.  It's something I believe humans were designed to experience.

I am waiting, and I feel like I have waited quite some time now.  Things have yet to fall into place.  I feel like where I am now, is temporary.  I just have no idea what is to come.  No, I do not feel on top of the world.  I fight to stay happy, it's a minute by minute thing in which I fight to keep going with an inner smile.  I am not ungrateful.  By no means am I ungrateful.  I just keep feeling like there is more, and it is not even close to what it ought to be.

Life after college is not what I imagined.  It may never be.  I have no idea right now.  Love, and success are all things we want.  I wish there was a detailed description of how to get there.  What moves to make, who to talk to, etc.  Yes, wealth is great, I could be the richest guy in the world, and I will still go to my favorite chicken joint in Chicago, buyin a 2 piece meal fried hard for the brother who's broke, they say money changes people.  It will give me an opportunity to not only have fun, but help people out better... so many times I wish I had it in order to help a friend.

This is an update on things.  I am in expectation for at least some of these good things to manifest into reality.  Until then, I wake up, and I do my thing.  I hope to meet new friends to hang out with after moving back here, etc.  We shall see.  Love and financial peace, I hope will happen sooner than later.  One can dream!  

New Beginnings

This is an entry that I am writing, in order to not only bring awareness, but to also reflect on some interesting things that have gone on.

First of all, on June 17th, 2012 my cousin was killed at age 20.  She was leading a horse tour at a state park in Indiana, when a large tree fell on her.  It was instant.  The wind was calm, maybe 20 mph, sunny day, and she was doing what she loved: riding a horse, and leading good people.  My life was not thinking about this, to be honest.  I was not thinking about anybody really, but my future, and my dreams.  I will admit.  And this situation really brought to my awareness, that life is so much more.  God will do exactly WHAT He wants, WHEN He wants, and His hand will brush our paths, and it will be for our own good, whether WE think it is or not.  There is no choices sometimes, but to lead our lives, following God's mysterious paths.  It really has made me think. I cannot take life for granted, and I asked somebody, in my family 'Why?'

Why THIS family?  21 years ago, my mom died, and now on her side, her niece- or my cousin, on her side follows.  But, why?  My older cousin from North Carolina, she told me, she said that God knows what He is doing.  She touched so many lives, and this event will touch even more, and people will see this situation, and it will make them think... make them realize what really matters in our lives... and remember not to take it for granted, and remember to do what we love.  God chose this family, because He knows we are strong, He knows we can handle it.  We are all believers in God, and He knows that when something like this happens, the world will see this, and see us coming together, we can be the inspiration and the message to everyone, and people will see us.  No, it is not a comfortable situation, I am not very happy at all that it has happened... in fact quite disturbed.  Because I love her, and all of my family for that matter.  But, God knows what He is doing.  God sees the bigger picture, we are up close and see how it affects us, but He sees what is going to happen, and how things are going to play out in the long run.

With that said, this is a new beginning for all of us.  A new beginning for Chelsea, the beginning of eternity.  A new beginning for us left behind, to learn to adapt to this new "normal".  When "normal" is disrupted, and cannot be brought back, we are forced to adapt, and learn a new "normal".  It will NEVER EVER be like it was before.  It is not always comfortable.  But time will heal this situation, and we will learn to live each day, and be happy, like she wants us to be, why?  Because SHE is happy too.  We shouldn't be happy she is not on earth anymore, no, we should be happy, because ultimately SHE is happy, and life is so rich with new blessings, and new good things to happen.

On a different note, today I finished my final class at North Park University.  I went through 16 years of school, many of them, involved being made fun of, and just dealing with mean things being said, and mean actions done to me.  Today, I close this book, and begin to write a new one.  I do not know WHERE or WHAT I will be doing, or WHERE I am going, but life will play itself out, my book will write itself in time.  I have family in North Carolina, friends in Connecticut, and a plane ticket to Los Angeles, CA, and I have no idea where to go.  I know I do not want to live in Indiana the rest of my life.  I love it there, it is so nice, and it will always be home, but I can't limit myself.  I want something new.  There is a country to see, and a world to see.  A beach to sit on, a mountain to look off the top, a valley to rest in.  A lake to swim.  A boat to sail or drive.  A plane to fly in! A cold beer to drink!

Life is hard, but it is beautiful.  The world is a mess, but it is a beautiful mess.  God created it.  We can't sit back and say how evil it is, because then we let the enemy win.  That is his intention is to make us say and believe how evil the world is, because he himself is evil.  The world is ultimately beautiful, because God created it, and ultimately GOD RULES over it, no matter what the enemy tries to do.  Because of free will, bad things happen, and evil takes place in the world, this is not God allowing it to happen, it is God giving us the choice, and the enemy influencing our poor decisions.  I believe humans are through and through good.  Because GOD is good, and we are created in the image of God.  But, the enemy influences our choices, and we do the wrong things.  Not to mention we are deceived so much too.

With that said, I update this, coming out of the wilderness, hoping to find a clear ocean, and a nice beach, though I know it won't be a perfect beach, I hope to find a big sailboat (50 footer) anchored 100 feet out, so I can swim out there, and start my journey on this boat.  There will be folks on the beach, that will board this boat with me, and help me sail, some will jump off and swim different directions, others will stay on, and God will be the wind, keeping us moving forward.



  

Book Review and Call to Action!

1 Peter 3:10-12

For the one who wants to love life and to see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit, and he must turn away from evil and do good.  He must seek peace and pursue it, because the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are open to their request.  But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

"evil" can mean a plethora of things.  There are many "evil" things in this world, that we don't even see as evil.  I'm not going to list things that are "evil" here.  I believe that the Holy Spirit convicts us to discern this.  But I will say that we also need, in order for breakthrough, to consecrate ourselves from the worldly things.  The world is not an evil place in itself.  It is full of diversity, beauty, splendor, and so much to offer.  This is God's colony of the Kingdom of Heaven!  But, the enemy is evil, and full of deceit. His influence is potent in this world.  God wants to restore and call His royal citizens (believers and followers) to be the ultimate influence on the world.  To have the power of the Holy Spirit, to operate in our gifting, to bring the Kingdom Culture to this world. Shine light in the dark places.

I notice many people, stay with people they are like.  We are comfortable with other believers, so we hang out with other believers.  We do not wish to associate with those of different values.  This can be good, in that we want to consecrate ourselves from the ways of the world- or the ways the enemy has influenced the world to do, but also we must be open.  We can be a friend and not partake.  We may not be called to be "ministers" but EVERYONE is called to minister.  So let's go!

Book review:

The Purpose and Power of Prayer by Dr. Myles Munroe

-God in all His power stops and listens when we pray.  God has given mankind earthly license for heavenly interference.  Prayer is essential for God's will to be done on earth.  He causes things- good things to happen on earth, when we are in agreement with His will.  Through his unique perspective on this often-misunderstood subject, Myles Munroe takes the mystery out of prayer, providing practical answers for difficult questions about communicating with God.  Everything you need to fulfill your purpose is available to you through prayer.  The biblically based, time tested principles in this book will ignite and transform the way you pray.  

An Update

For those that read this, I am very grateful.  An update on life.  Things are very normal for now.  Class, work, class, work.  I am very ready to be done with school.  The thing with school, is that you can't leave class in class.  Your work follows you everywhere, stuff lingers, the things that need to be done, papers, presentations, quizzes, it gets old.  But I am making it through.

Many ideas have come to me, and many people have told me, wherever I decide to go, God will still be there, I can go far far away, to an island somewhere and God will still be there.  That is good to know.  I was pretty sure I was going to do YWAM for awhile, but that changed.  Mission work while it is exciting, needs to have a constant passion, and that I do not have a constant passion for, that I am so willing to pay the money to do work, it seems like a great experience but I have been struggling trying to understand if that is where I should go or not.

The sun is shinning through my window the first time today.  I see the faint shadows of the bars on my windows against the wall.  It's nice to have sun, though it is cold sun.  Life just keeps moving forward, and the seconds keep moving up, up, up to 60 then falls back to 0.

Kingdom

On Saturday I did something with a friend that I normally wouldn't do.  I felt led to be bold in my life, and confidently do some Kingdom work...  A friend and I went downtown Chicago, to Millenium Park, and had signs that read "Can I Pray For You?"  We sat at a small table, and we went global.  People from all over the world came.  One guy from Kenya, another from London, a couple from Montana, who did mission work in the Czech, it was awesome.  I noticed that everyone was a believer whom stopped by, and they were young, in their 20s and 30s.  Also, a guy stopped by, referring this generation as an "army" of believers... my view is a little different, yet it ties it all in...

I do believe our generation will be the generation that will lead this world out of much of the problems it is facing today, as well as be the leaders of tomorrow in the next 10-20-30 years.  We are being shaped right now into people of integrity, understanding, compassion, justice, mercy, ethics, and PASSION.  Soon things will be in our control, under God, and we will be making decisions.  But is our generation, particularly the generation of believers, an ARMY?  Sure, we battle many things in our lives... not necessarily all physical either.  Much of it is spiritual.  So do we fight?  Yes.  Every believer will have to fight to some extent, as Jesus is not necessarily the most treasured person on this earth right now by every human.  Many are taken by idols, and other things that take Jesus' place... we normally have to fight to keep our hearts from being captive by idols, such as relationships, material things, pride, lust, alcohol, partying, etc, etc.  BUT, are we just an army?

I believe we are like a Kingdom, WITH an army...  Not everyone is meant or gifted to fight spiritual warfare, and some have this spiritual gift called intercessory prayer, which is prayer for many things, but more of a "battle" type of prayer... Some are better at discerning the spiritual realm, others prophecy and we ALL have more than one... so an army of intercessors could also be very diverse in their other giftings, such as worship, spiritual direction, discernment, etc. Though we need all of those gifts in an army, we also need them to glorify Jesus, and unify with God...

We are a Royal family in the Kingdom of God, and God loves us and sees us just as that:royalty.  THAT alone is a reason to celebrate!

Dreams

Dreams...  today at church, they talked to us about dreams, and how God's dreams for us is so much bigger and better than our own dreams for ourselves.  Vision is important as well.  What is God's vision for our lives?  This I am still trying to figure out.  The world seems to expect us to have this down and known about ourselves, but what happens when we actually DON'T have it figured out?  I think it is safe to say that I am not the only one, unsure at age 21, however I believe, and have faith that God will soon make it clear.  What are some ways we seek clarity?  1. Prayer and fasting... 2.  An asessment of our spiritual gifts... 3.  Walking in the spirit.  4.  Working in the spirit. 

1.  Through prayer and fasting, we seek clarity and put our total reliance on God.  Instead of food for a day, replace the meal times with God time, read the word, listen to sermons, read books, utilize powerful materials, seeking out His kingdom.

2.  What are we good at?  What can we do, for the rest of our lives, and not get paid for?  List what you're good at. 

3.  This is a hard one.  Audibly say to God, I submit my entire being to you and want to be flooded with your spirit.  The spirit of God, the governor of our beings.  Take life a step at a time, and do it under the power of the Holy Spirit.  We are not our own after this.  We are exalted!

4.  Working in the spirit...  after submitting ourselves, we walk, but when we start our work days on Monday, or whenever, in class or whatever, we forget.  We must be changers of the way society works, by loving in ways nobody has seen, or ways that are rarely seen.  We influence in our workplaces, we care.  We evangelize when the time is right.  Our work ethic is improved, our strength is greater, our endurance is greater, and our attitudes are moved and shifted into attitudes of Shabach!  Glorifying God in all we do, thanking Him, counting our blessings, and sowing more!  Thus reaping more.  Amazing how this stuff works.  And I will never ever have this all figured out.  None of us will.  God is so mysterious, yet so easy to love, and so simple, everyone can connect, yet no human being will have His ways figured out. 

We have the victory, and God will not move us into victory, He will move us BECAUSE of victory!  Why?  We already are victorious. Thanks to Jesus. 

Basically we have our full potential in us, we just need to access it by prayer, and acknowledgement of our gifts.  There is more to life than what we see, people.  There is so much more.  So much mystery, newness, beginnings.