Born For The Nations

It's a grey Chicago morning, in March of 2012.  I'm a lost senior in College at North Park University, the economy is limping back to life, and jobs are pretty much nonexistent for the majority of us starting out.  I'm sitting in a church on Altgeld Ave. of which I wandered in, on Chicago's west side.  The Apostolic congregation, is an experience to live.  Growing up in a traditional Swedish church, this gave me a new insight to God.  Amidst the praying, singing, prophetic gospel music, and prayer in languages only God can understand, the Apostle stops mid-message, and points at me.  "Gordon!  You were born for the nations!" And continues his message.  This could have been either spiritual rhetoric used for encouragement, or truly a prompting from God.  I've since chosen to believe the latter, but at the time, you are thinking "Yeah, I've got big dreams, and a budget that says 'boy you're going back to your hometown where you started!'"

Fast forward 4 years, it is January 2016.  I've made mistakes and found shenanigans since this time, which has slowed me down from many things yet end up working on some cruise ship that circles the Hawaiian islands.  I am now debt free, and meeting people from all over the world, working a schedule that at first made me think "what the hell did I just get myself into?!"  Always wanting to travel, co-workers came from all corners of the world, including Philippines, which I never put much thought into, until they spoke of the cheap rates, and nice people.  Beautiful weather, and it is like Hawaii, without the inflated prices.  You can do MORE, for LESS and be there for a longer period of time.

I am looking on Airbnb, and find a nice place, but it's in Bali... I never paid much thought to Bali either.  But, I ended up researching Bali, and the spirituality, and culture it was richly laced with, and I said "This is going to happen!"

A month in Southest Asia, no travel agent, nothing.  Just me, and my planning.  And there I went, booking flights, lodging, and books and forums on this new land I was to walk.

Spirit Of Nature

Being in the small island town of Lahaina, I have discovered a certain spirit in people here.  Never have I witnessed this type of unspoken energy, other than in church growing up.  Genuine kindness.  While the struggle is real for some, the genuine attitude of gratitude radiates, on the hard workers, and the homeless alike.  The vibe is alive and well.

Each wave on these beaches, is a surge of energy in which God stirs up for humanity to enjoy and experience Him with. I hear God's voice, finally, through the waves splashing, and bubbling on the individual, unique grains of sand, collectively creating a beach.  Similar, how His spirit lives in all of us, individual human beings, collectively creating the world in which we live, and dominate through Him.  The waves crash against the rocks- the foundation of the island, spraying, and cleansing them of impurities as the blood of Christ cleanses us.  Yet the strong waters, massage the beach, constantly creating some sort of evolution in the form of the beaches.

I have met some incredible people here so far. I've been told, Maui decides who stays in Maui, and who needs to leave... If you are a kind hearted individual, loves, and respects the land and her people, as well as accepts the culture that has been evident for ages, you too, can belong here.  The people who are meant to be here, will indeed, be here, stay here, and thrive here.

So, I put my trust in my abilities, my heart in the Spirit, my faith in God and His creation.  I submerge myself in the salty, warm pacific, I try to swim under, but I can't... there is an invisible force, pushing me back... the salt water, will not let me sink.  So I lay on my back, and let her carry me, floating. My arms outstretched, embracing the sky, the hot sun, melting the negativity and sadness within.  I roll over, face down in the water, cooling my hot face, and head.

I ground my feet back onto the black rocky bottom, and carefully wade back out of the water into softer sand.  From this very simple, yet overwhelming spiritual experience, I concluded one thing, a revelation if you will:

God is in everything.  Every cycle, every current and direction, every grain of sand, and every breeze we experience and feel, is full of God, full of His intentions, His energy, and most importantly, the creation of this world, was done out of a labour of love.  Simple as that.

Noise

Noise is all around.  How does one escape it?

Politicians, salespeople, theologies and philosophies in the name of God even, so loud, so different.

Opinions, biases in media, businesses, favoritism in all aspects, myths, truths, history, mistakes, victories, what is truth anymore?

Is truth simply becoming what benefits certain groups ideals?  Reality is what you make it.  Truth is what is in your heart. Is truth what makes the individual content?

Engines, sirens, talking, yelling, swearing, belittling, NOISE!

Slandering, criticizing, deceiving, NOISE!

Messages, words, images, sounds, thoughts, get nailed into our brains, faster, better, higher, quicker, -

Alleviating noise can be the best thing you can do for yourself.

Spending time in the arms of the one you love, silence (pure silence), being one with nature, with music, submerging yourself in the waters of peace.  Or playing with a child who hears noise, but still pays no mind, knows nothing, cares nothing, but feeling the positive or negative vibes that radiate from everyone, and life.  God Himself, gives peace.  Infiltrates our spirits.

Simplicity.

Faith Applications

Faith in God can be like the stock market.  Ever evolving, and going up and down.  This is how relationships can be as well, I guess it all connects.  What will be seen in these next words are simply part of my journey, and explorations in the faith, and what I am finding in life through accrued wisdom by reading and learning.  So I wanted to apply it to life as we know it.

I finished a great book, which some things were helpful, others I have overcome, all in all, it was good.  I am a truth seeker.  Always have been, always will be.  I am even curious about lies, because from those you discover a hidden truth by its' origin.  Deep. As a believer in Jesus, I have been zealous.  I have been too open minded, I have been mediocre, I have been on many different levels.  And it's not over, in my experiencing God!  Nor is it for everyone reading this.  From some things I discovered about myself in the last few months, I have worked on opening my mind, expanding my understanding, while maintaining my stance, and developing where I stand on different things regarding politics, morality, values, and yes even spirituality.

Lately I have felt as if God is way up high on a cloud, drinking pina coladas, and listening to Bob Marley, Don Ho, and IZ.  I know better, and that's just the frustrating aspect, is that my faith has been stronger than it is now.  Turning to explore other faiths, they have not been consistent.  For example, if Buddhism believes in karma, karma is scary to me, but with Jesus it does not exist, other than the "do to others as you wish to be done to you" teaching.  At the same time, I could not, and still cannot understand how suffering should be a part of Christian life, why would God want us to suffer?

Well, I am happy to say that from what I gathered it may not be that He intends for us to suffer, yet in the suffering He gets us out of, so we can be followers...  But not in a narcissistic way.  The affairs of society and the world which cause suffering, are all done by imperfect human beings.  God gave us free will.  Yet He will never leave or forsake us.

One thing that is hard, sometimes (I) and many believers TRY to please God, be it whether it's to judge others to feel in good standing with God, or purposefully putting themselves down to be "humble" before others and God, or just feeling like you cannot be good enough for God.  I guess I am realizing that all of these things are done subconsciously, known as my iniquities.  But it can also purposefully be done.  It's just human for us to do that.  

Many of this stems from early scars from childhood, and teen years as well.  Subliminal messages given to young women and men to live up to a certain image or standard, do certain activities, or be talented in certain hobbies or skills.

What I am finding is that it is all relative.  It is all, it's not a game, or about "falling into sin" or making the "wrong" choice.  It is, however, fulfillment, happiness, joy, and having a heart for God.  It is very interesting how we tend to all have an image of God, I do not believe there is a wrong image of who God is, but I do believe God is a lot different than we can imagine to be.

You Are Worthy

I woke up on a beach.  It wasn't hot, nor was it cold and palm trees were all over.  Nearby, some kids were splashing in the clear blue waves, and laughing.  Suddenly they vanished.  I saw a glass goblet next to me, so I decided to grab it, and get a drink.  The goblet had my initials etched into the fine glass in a cursive victorian font.  I waded into the refreshing water, and dipped the goblet in, as I brought it back up, the water became an orange color.  I took a risk, and drank.  It was cold, pure juice that tasted of mangoes, pineapples, and oranges. My thirst was quenched, and I got some more to take along, as I walked back to sit and gaze at the horizon.

I smelled a sweet, soft perfume, and looked over, and there she was... a young woman, smiling at me.  Her eyes danced as she laughed, maybe amused at my bewildered gaze.  As she laughed, her hair changed from brunette, to blonde, to black and auburn as the wind and sun caressed it.  She wore a white beach dress.  Brushing the hair from her eyes, she spoke, "I'm lady Wisdom.  I am with you wherever you go, charting your course before you.  I know your thoughts, but I also know your heart.  I use discernment to rewire your thoughts to align with your heart.  That juice you drank, was from the fruits in which God has harvested through you.  The fruits of the Spirit, in which you have inherited, developed, and strengthened in your life.  The sea, was the vast love of God, you dipped into."

Bewildered, I looked down, feeling pain from my past choices, attitudes, and the way I treated some people.  She continued, "Gordon, you are worthy... you are worthy, Gordon... you are worthy."  She repeated this, and I looked into her eyes, and said, "No, no I am NOT."  She leaned into me, and kissed me, whispered into my ear, "Yes, yes you are."  She then stood up, wings spread out from her dress, and mist came at me, she laughed and said "Follow me, do you want to feel God's love?  This is how He feels about you."  Water rushed over me, and the neuro-science articles I have read would justify my feelings from a release of endorphins, dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, yet I know this was spiritual.  Lifting my arms, I shot up out of the water, 20, 50, 100 ft.  I flew, and she said "Follow me, find your vessel, and sail!"  Boats were everywhere, but somehow I knew which one mine was.  It was about 52 ft. with a cabin.  It was white, with teak trim, on the back in dark green, cursive font it read Jer. 29:11.  I got lower, pulled myself down from the wheel, and as I landed, I saw a big screen.  I wondered where the girl was, and on the screen appeared the girl.  I wondered where I should sail, and Jamaica came onto the screen.  I noticed a pattern, so I then thought of a giraffe, and the funny animal came onto the screen.

She then touched me, and said "That's your mind.  As you sail, we will navigate through your mind, as I guide your thoughts and we will both follow your heart, which is here..." She showed me a tablet, with categories, under one file which read "God"  It was like an IPAD, but instead of the Apple logo, it was my initials.  She grabbed a pen, and started writing...  I felt that strange good feeling again, so I laid down.  Hebrew words flooded my mind, she said "God told me to write His laws, love, and spirit into your heart.  It will dwell in you forever and will grow and widen the seas in which we will sail.  You'll enjoy the juice from your fruits, you will reap what your heart has sown for eternity."  Eyes closed, I heard the sails raise, flapping in the wind.  I immediately felt us rocking and cutting through the water at a good speed.  I did not care who was sailing, I trusted the wind, I loved the boat, and I knew I was not alone.

Thoughts and memories rushed through my head, and I heard her reacting both to the good and bad, from monitoring the screens.  Some things vanished, others magnified, I couldn't explain what was happening, but I felt dizzy.  It was like a brain massage.

Then, music filled the air, the same music in my mind, and I thought "God!"  And audibly, the words were in the atmosphere.  So I said "pussycat", and sure enough...

As we sailed onward, she said "Sail on, love, your boat has come, God will bless you beyond your wildest dreams, because you are worthy..."

Universal Language of Music

The nations have become so divided by politics, economic status, lifestyles, religion, language barriers, and nationalistic ideologies.  I have discovered there is one painless force that will break all of those strongholds, reaching into our most spiritual and human part of us- the heart.  That force is music.  Music in itself is a universal language, we all understand.  No words necessary.  It's a God-given Heavenly way to heal, connect, uplift, and bring a certain form of ecstasy into our world.  If lyrics are involved, a message can be spread as well.  Therefore, music can also be a weapon. (After all, it is universal).  If people are open to listening to the message of the lyrics, and feeling what the melody says, the combination could be beyond words.  What images does it bring to the mind's eye?  Lyrics can create a movie or story, while the melody a feeling.  However, words aren't always needed to do this, in order for the song to speak in a manner in which you can understand.  Let your heart translate the music and speak to you.  Your heart will not lead you astray if you are wise about it. 

Romance Through Divine Love

From the time when we are 13, us guys like her cute laugh, and she annoys the crap out of us, yet deep down we like her... She loves how he pokes at her, and just makes her heart beat quicker.  Yet she is so annoyed by him, deep down she likes him.  Fast forward to high school, between 15-18... many discount this age as being "too young to love" And that nobody knows what "love" is.  Let me just say... from the moment of birth, everyone knows what love is.  There are stages of love.  The new love, is the infatuation/honeymoon love, in which EVERYONE experiences.  Yet we all deny it rolling our eyes, as if it is something we are to be ashamed of.  The love a young couple feels, is real... very real, and very strong.  Emotions raging, hormones peaking, yes, you feel it, and you're in love.  What young people DON'T know, is MANAGING love... they start to see their quirks, they get into conflict, they don't know how to handle it, they get bored and cheat or break up... that is what speaks to everyone around as to how they are "so young"... love will come anytime you let it. Managing love... is up to you, and the divine power of God to be your glue.

I'm going to go through some subjects that many do not talk about.  It may seem 'wrong'... but life is nothing but transparent, and God know everything about our hearts, why hide and not discuss this stuff?

There are many forms of love, from brotherly/sisterly love, emotional, maternal/paternal love, spiritual love, and a love of... beer or chocolate, or beaches. We are attracted to things, that have something good and positive to offer to us, helping us not just survive, but thrive and enjoy.  In turn, we give back.  You 'love' the beach?  You don't litter, you support and organization that preserves manatees or beaches.  You 'love' chocolate?  Invest in the market- buy some candy bars! You 'love' beer?  Support your favorite beer company and drink responsibly (in fact using it responsibly is the greatest gift you could give to their company).  Spiritual love, you devote yourself to the higher power, be it Jesus (for me), or whatever else.  Children and parents- kids, obey, and never stop telling your parents you love them, and hug them.  Same with parents to kids.  Treat them gently, firmly, and compassionately.  Friends, well,be a friend whom understands and helps one another.  Jokes with each other, just thrives and goes on adventures.

In the beginning, God created Eve to be a mate for Adam... There are places where it says biblically it is not good for man to be alone.  Also, a man whom finds a wife, finds a great thing a gift from God.  Also, men, treat your wives as Christ loves his creation, his people... God's people... treat her with adoration, kindness, respect, and affection, no matter what.

It is an equal thing.  Culturally the man is no longer always the bread winner, nor does the woman always cook and clean... we have become a team, complimenting our strengths, living in our situations, and growing our weaknesses.  In every relationship it is 110/110... I give my all to please her, while she would do the same... we know what each other, likes, and needs... so, through our love, we express and but those into actions, words, and affections.

By loving your mate, you are loving God... God send you guys, and started this love in your hearts for a reason... God smiles, approvingly everytime you two kiss.  Everytime you two cuddle.  Everytime you two say "I love you..."  God knows, He has done a good thing.  You experience the divine love of God through the other person romantically...

Love is meant to heal.  Love is meant to renew.  Love is meant to inspire.

Here are some quotes by an inspiring individual from India, named Deepak Chopra:

"Ecstasy is the release of individuality bade into wholeness.  Whatever brings you closer to wholeness, brings you closer to ecstasy."

"See your beloved as a mirror of your higher self."

"Surrender to love as your guiding force.  A single point in the heart can expand to liberate the world...."

"You are a unique path created between you and your beloved"

Rumi- "My soul glowed from the fire of your fire.  Your world was a whispering river of my heart..."

"A Liberated soul is a citizen of the universe..."

"Sexual union initiates DIVINE creation.  What you express through your passion is God's love for you."

"Inspiration is that state in which mind and heart are connected."

"Any desire to grow is following the flow of love."

"Love is everywhere, but in some places it is blocked by fear."

"When you blame of criticize others, you are avoiding some truth about yourself."

"If you create any open space within yourself, love will fill it."

"The highest expression of love is creativity"

"When sex (or intimacy) is fully loving, you experience the divine through your partner"

"Sexual/intimate love energized by absolute love, is ecstasy."

"Love doesn't need a reason, it speaks from the irrational wisdom of the heart."

"A heart that has learned to trust, can be at rest in the world."

"To love and be loved is the most natural expression of our being."

So, sexual intimacy, is a divine experience, in which God is experienced through your love for each other.  The blissful state of ecstasy through eachother, is simply a gift God gave humanity, and smiles on.  I believe there are places only a man and woman can go, nobody else can go but them.  Each couple has a different place, because they have different souls, hearts, and levels of intimacy.  Sure, it is a spiritual thing, but there are of course many other times in which you can get more... risque or naughty with it- which again is natural state of humanity.  It was designed for spiritual union, as well as a pleasurable activity, all because you love each other.

It has been said, that hugging often, creates longer relationships, more likely to end up in marriage, and LAST... The same goes with kissing.  Kiss each other A LOT!  And passionately.  Kissing has chemicals, that send off positive chemicals to the brain, alleviating depression, anxiety, and increases dopamine, oxytocin, and better performance in life, at work, and in the home.  Cuddling, creates a bond, that makes you both secure and safe.  I will post another on the stages of marriage, and why so many end in divorce.  Divorce is preventable...

When two people adore each others' beings, you end up uniting, as 2 flesh become one, spiritually you unite as well, you connect in such a deep level... you feel the ecstasy, the blissful state of mind, you never find anywhere else... It's a powerful state, love is.  Such a beautiful thing.  The world today, has corrupted it, and degraded it, dumbed it down, and turned it into things it is not.  For me, I know how to do a couple things well... 1. Write and play music.  2. LOVE the girl to be wife I will be with. As well as other friends and family.  I'm a lover, not a fighter.

Peace><>

My Values

These are my values in which I read about, and picked. I will write an excerpt on them all.

Creativity: To expand our potential, and go beyond the horizon.

Fairness: We all deserve to have our hearts' desires.

Faith: If you're an atheist, you have faith that there is no God. If you're spiritual, you have faith in a higher power, thus faith is inevitable.

Intimacy: Humanity was designed for this from the beginning with Adam and Eve, for man and woman to be fruitful and multiply, and to have that other half, and experience real intimacy with somebody.

Love: From romance to brotherly/sisterly love, to universal love, it is essential, and is something we need, in fact we need every form of love to thrive. 

Honesty: Why lie? It destroys the world and comes back to haunt us.

Inspiration: Desire to inspire!

Kindness: Genuine kindness does wonders.

Spirituality: Inspired by God Himself!

Openness: Transparency is key in any relationship.

Passion: This ignites flames in love, inspiration, creativity, work, everything. Many times children are born due to this value :)

Warmth: Better than cold...

Happiness: We ALL deserve this, in any point. Whatever it is, wherever we may find it.

Loyalty: From a Cubs fan, to marriage, and relationships, to doing business with a trusted, and good company, loyalty is essential and pays off dividends thousandfold eventually. 

When Do Dreams Manifest Into Reality?

The world has become a cold place to live.  Leaves fell, flowers died, grass is dormant, and now we wait for what is to come.  Last time I posted, the life was just starting, the season began.  Dreams were big, and hot from the bright sun that woke me up in the stuffy apartment in Chicago, ready to live another 115* F day.  It got so hot up there earlier this summer!

When I dream, I dream big.  I either want to go big, or not go at all.  In some ways this can be good.  In other ways, not so much.  Because I get let down by my own personal expectations for myself, to be in places that, I simply, cannot get to when and how I want to.  I have been told that   I am "unrealistic" and dream too much, while I have also been told, I am too limiting on myself.  Which is it?  And which direction do I go?  The Law Of Attraction is all about imagining your wildest dreams, and they will become a reality.  That has not happened.

I packed my car, and moved last minute to Muncie, no job, and a little money.  Thanks to some amazing friends helping me out, I was able to be there for awhile and figure things out.  Met a great girl, we talked, and had a great connection, then due to a series of unfortunate events, some my own fault, I just had to come back.  Things with the girl just wasn't realistic, and we just weren't as compatible as initially imagined.  Still, in October, no job, etc.  Looking at other friends from college, they have what I call "big boy" or "big girl" jobs.  Some in downtown Chicago.  I just got a job bagging groceries, and I am grateful to put gas in the car, with my degree.  And it's very discouraging.  The expectations, the dreams, the wants, seem to be coming to others.  It just makes me think abut things.  Yes, some mistakes I have made, and learned from. Some is out of my control.  Now I will go into some things, in which I believe is pretty universal in humanity.

Success/Wealth:  I've eaten with, talked to, hugged, and built relationships with homeless people whom haven't showered in weeks, I've been in the neighborhoods in Chicago at 10 pm, getting chicken from my favorite chicken joint, places many wouldn't even go into in the bright of day, I met people there, and we built a connection.  Once when Dunkin' Donuts was closing, I met a worker behind the store, and took a huge trash bag of doughnuts and muffins, they'd otherwise throw away.  Walking down the dark alley, to share with my dorm mates, I heard a voice call out from the shadows.  Two homeless people, one in a wheelchair whom didn't speak well, must have had a stroke.  It was February.  We ate and talked, and we always remembered each other.  I've also had a knife drawn out on me, held up to me, and I ended up talking myself out of it, and ways were parted.

I've also been inside million dollar homes, met big name community leaders in the city, driven a Mercedes a few times, sailed in Maine, had drinks in Chicago's most expensive hotel in a big room with live jazz (the drinks were glasses of ice water- but still)... I've been places and seen things, some I could show you and take you, others I wouldn't.  Some people shouldn't see some of those things that go on.

I have big dreams.  Yes, a nice home, preferably in Florida, a nice car- I have a nice car, but I am talking about the European luxury makes, maybe a boat one day, and the ability to travel.

Just seems hard to imagine pushing carts into the store at this point, how can it all be possible?  I look at people, they seem to have it all together.  They have house, cars, family, vacation home, diversified investment portfolios...they will tell you "Noooo I don't have it all together..."  They must be doing something right, if they can have this and sustain themselves...

I will say this... if I DO become successful to the point of wealthiness, some peoples' worlds are going to get rocked in a good way!  Businesses will be brought back, churches started, communities revitalized, dear friends will be helped, people in Africa without good water, will experience what good water is like.  Of course my family and I will be taken care of, but the world and society will be blessed big time.

Love:  I believe, no matter who you are... where you are in life, we ALL deserve love.  Not love as in the universal love- yes we deserve that- that's a given in my book.  I am talking about significant other love.  In the Bible, there are many good stories.  One of the first ones, was about Adam and Eve... Adam started work, he named all the creatures, then was blessed with Eve... they were fruitful and multiplied... what an amazing gift, an amazing experience.  Something I very much hope I am blessed with.  Eventually a family- with lil kids.  It's a beautiful thing that- just seems amazing.  No, it won't be perfect, but it is beautiful.  The good, the bad, the hard, the easy.  It's something I believe humans were designed to experience.

I am waiting, and I feel like I have waited quite some time now.  Things have yet to fall into place.  I feel like where I am now, is temporary.  I just have no idea what is to come.  No, I do not feel on top of the world.  I fight to stay happy, it's a minute by minute thing in which I fight to keep going with an inner smile.  I am not ungrateful.  By no means am I ungrateful.  I just keep feeling like there is more, and it is not even close to what it ought to be.

Life after college is not what I imagined.  It may never be.  I have no idea right now.  Love, and success are all things we want.  I wish there was a detailed description of how to get there.  What moves to make, who to talk to, etc.  Yes, wealth is great, I could be the richest guy in the world, and I will still go to my favorite chicken joint in Chicago, buyin a 2 piece meal fried hard for the brother who's broke, they say money changes people.  It will give me an opportunity to not only have fun, but help people out better... so many times I wish I had it in order to help a friend.

This is an update on things.  I am in expectation for at least some of these good things to manifest into reality.  Until then, I wake up, and I do my thing.  I hope to meet new friends to hang out with after moving back here, etc.  We shall see.  Love and financial peace, I hope will happen sooner than later.  One can dream!  

New Beginnings

This is an entry that I am writing, in order to not only bring awareness, but to also reflect on some interesting things that have gone on.

First of all, on June 17th, 2012 my cousin was killed at age 20.  She was leading a horse tour at a state park in Indiana, when a large tree fell on her.  It was instant.  The wind was calm, maybe 20 mph, sunny day, and she was doing what she loved: riding a horse, and leading good people.  My life was not thinking about this, to be honest.  I was not thinking about anybody really, but my future, and my dreams.  I will admit.  And this situation really brought to my awareness, that life is so much more.  God will do exactly WHAT He wants, WHEN He wants, and His hand will brush our paths, and it will be for our own good, whether WE think it is or not.  There is no choices sometimes, but to lead our lives, following God's mysterious paths.  It really has made me think. I cannot take life for granted, and I asked somebody, in my family 'Why?'

Why THIS family?  21 years ago, my mom died, and now on her side, her niece- or my cousin, on her side follows.  But, why?  My older cousin from North Carolina, she told me, she said that God knows what He is doing.  She touched so many lives, and this event will touch even more, and people will see this situation, and it will make them think... make them realize what really matters in our lives... and remember not to take it for granted, and remember to do what we love.  God chose this family, because He knows we are strong, He knows we can handle it.  We are all believers in God, and He knows that when something like this happens, the world will see this, and see us coming together, we can be the inspiration and the message to everyone, and people will see us.  No, it is not a comfortable situation, I am not very happy at all that it has happened... in fact quite disturbed.  Because I love her, and all of my family for that matter.  But, God knows what He is doing.  God sees the bigger picture, we are up close and see how it affects us, but He sees what is going to happen, and how things are going to play out in the long run.

With that said, this is a new beginning for all of us.  A new beginning for Chelsea, the beginning of eternity.  A new beginning for us left behind, to learn to adapt to this new "normal".  When "normal" is disrupted, and cannot be brought back, we are forced to adapt, and learn a new "normal".  It will NEVER EVER be like it was before.  It is not always comfortable.  But time will heal this situation, and we will learn to live each day, and be happy, like she wants us to be, why?  Because SHE is happy too.  We shouldn't be happy she is not on earth anymore, no, we should be happy, because ultimately SHE is happy, and life is so rich with new blessings, and new good things to happen.

On a different note, today I finished my final class at North Park University.  I went through 16 years of school, many of them, involved being made fun of, and just dealing with mean things being said, and mean actions done to me.  Today, I close this book, and begin to write a new one.  I do not know WHERE or WHAT I will be doing, or WHERE I am going, but life will play itself out, my book will write itself in time.  I have family in North Carolina, friends in Connecticut, and a plane ticket to Los Angeles, CA, and I have no idea where to go.  I know I do not want to live in Indiana the rest of my life.  I love it there, it is so nice, and it will always be home, but I can't limit myself.  I want something new.  There is a country to see, and a world to see.  A beach to sit on, a mountain to look off the top, a valley to rest in.  A lake to swim.  A boat to sail or drive.  A plane to fly in! A cold beer to drink!

Life is hard, but it is beautiful.  The world is a mess, but it is a beautiful mess.  God created it.  We can't sit back and say how evil it is, because then we let the enemy win.  That is his intention is to make us say and believe how evil the world is, because he himself is evil.  The world is ultimately beautiful, because God created it, and ultimately GOD RULES over it, no matter what the enemy tries to do.  Because of free will, bad things happen, and evil takes place in the world, this is not God allowing it to happen, it is God giving us the choice, and the enemy influencing our poor decisions.  I believe humans are through and through good.  Because GOD is good, and we are created in the image of God.  But, the enemy influences our choices, and we do the wrong things.  Not to mention we are deceived so much too.

With that said, I update this, coming out of the wilderness, hoping to find a clear ocean, and a nice beach, though I know it won't be a perfect beach, I hope to find a big sailboat (50 footer) anchored 100 feet out, so I can swim out there, and start my journey on this boat.  There will be folks on the beach, that will board this boat with me, and help me sail, some will jump off and swim different directions, others will stay on, and God will be the wind, keeping us moving forward.



  

Book Review and Call to Action!

1 Peter 3:10-12

For the one who wants to love life and to see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit, and he must turn away from evil and do good.  He must seek peace and pursue it, because the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are open to their request.  But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.

"evil" can mean a plethora of things.  There are many "evil" things in this world, that we don't even see as evil.  I'm not going to list things that are "evil" here.  I believe that the Holy Spirit convicts us to discern this.  But I will say that we also need, in order for breakthrough, to consecrate ourselves from the worldly things.  The world is not an evil place in itself.  It is full of diversity, beauty, splendor, and so much to offer.  This is God's colony of the Kingdom of Heaven!  But, the enemy is evil, and full of deceit. His influence is potent in this world.  God wants to restore and call His royal citizens (believers and followers) to be the ultimate influence on the world.  To have the power of the Holy Spirit, to operate in our gifting, to bring the Kingdom Culture to this world. Shine light in the dark places.

I notice many people, stay with people they are like.  We are comfortable with other believers, so we hang out with other believers.  We do not wish to associate with those of different values.  This can be good, in that we want to consecrate ourselves from the ways of the world- or the ways the enemy has influenced the world to do, but also we must be open.  We can be a friend and not partake.  We may not be called to be "ministers" but EVERYONE is called to minister.  So let's go!

Book review:

The Purpose and Power of Prayer by Dr. Myles Munroe

-God in all His power stops and listens when we pray.  God has given mankind earthly license for heavenly interference.  Prayer is essential for God's will to be done on earth.  He causes things- good things to happen on earth, when we are in agreement with His will.  Through his unique perspective on this often-misunderstood subject, Myles Munroe takes the mystery out of prayer, providing practical answers for difficult questions about communicating with God.  Everything you need to fulfill your purpose is available to you through prayer.  The biblically based, time tested principles in this book will ignite and transform the way you pray.  

An Update

For those that read this, I am very grateful.  An update on life.  Things are very normal for now.  Class, work, class, work.  I am very ready to be done with school.  The thing with school, is that you can't leave class in class.  Your work follows you everywhere, stuff lingers, the things that need to be done, papers, presentations, quizzes, it gets old.  But I am making it through.

Many ideas have come to me, and many people have told me, wherever I decide to go, God will still be there, I can go far far away, to an island somewhere and God will still be there.  That is good to know.  I was pretty sure I was going to do YWAM for awhile, but that changed.  Mission work while it is exciting, needs to have a constant passion, and that I do not have a constant passion for, that I am so willing to pay the money to do work, it seems like a great experience but I have been struggling trying to understand if that is where I should go or not.

The sun is shinning through my window the first time today.  I see the faint shadows of the bars on my windows against the wall.  It's nice to have sun, though it is cold sun.  Life just keeps moving forward, and the seconds keep moving up, up, up to 60 then falls back to 0.

Kingdom

On Saturday I did something with a friend that I normally wouldn't do.  I felt led to be bold in my life, and confidently do some Kingdom work...  A friend and I went downtown Chicago, to Millenium Park, and had signs that read "Can I Pray For You?"  We sat at a small table, and we went global.  People from all over the world came.  One guy from Kenya, another from London, a couple from Montana, who did mission work in the Czech, it was awesome.  I noticed that everyone was a believer whom stopped by, and they were young, in their 20s and 30s.  Also, a guy stopped by, referring this generation as an "army" of believers... my view is a little different, yet it ties it all in...

I do believe our generation will be the generation that will lead this world out of much of the problems it is facing today, as well as be the leaders of tomorrow in the next 10-20-30 years.  We are being shaped right now into people of integrity, understanding, compassion, justice, mercy, ethics, and PASSION.  Soon things will be in our control, under God, and we will be making decisions.  But is our generation, particularly the generation of believers, an ARMY?  Sure, we battle many things in our lives... not necessarily all physical either.  Much of it is spiritual.  So do we fight?  Yes.  Every believer will have to fight to some extent, as Jesus is not necessarily the most treasured person on this earth right now by every human.  Many are taken by idols, and other things that take Jesus' place... we normally have to fight to keep our hearts from being captive by idols, such as relationships, material things, pride, lust, alcohol, partying, etc, etc.  BUT, are we just an army?

I believe we are like a Kingdom, WITH an army...  Not everyone is meant or gifted to fight spiritual warfare, and some have this spiritual gift called intercessory prayer, which is prayer for many things, but more of a "battle" type of prayer... Some are better at discerning the spiritual realm, others prophecy and we ALL have more than one... so an army of intercessors could also be very diverse in their other giftings, such as worship, spiritual direction, discernment, etc. Though we need all of those gifts in an army, we also need them to glorify Jesus, and unify with God...

We are a Royal family in the Kingdom of God, and God loves us and sees us just as that:royalty.  THAT alone is a reason to celebrate!

Dreams

Dreams...  today at church, they talked to us about dreams, and how God's dreams for us is so much bigger and better than our own dreams for ourselves.  Vision is important as well.  What is God's vision for our lives?  This I am still trying to figure out.  The world seems to expect us to have this down and known about ourselves, but what happens when we actually DON'T have it figured out?  I think it is safe to say that I am not the only one, unsure at age 21, however I believe, and have faith that God will soon make it clear.  What are some ways we seek clarity?  1. Prayer and fasting... 2.  An asessment of our spiritual gifts... 3.  Walking in the spirit.  4.  Working in the spirit. 

1.  Through prayer and fasting, we seek clarity and put our total reliance on God.  Instead of food for a day, replace the meal times with God time, read the word, listen to sermons, read books, utilize powerful materials, seeking out His kingdom.

2.  What are we good at?  What can we do, for the rest of our lives, and not get paid for?  List what you're good at. 

3.  This is a hard one.  Audibly say to God, I submit my entire being to you and want to be flooded with your spirit.  The spirit of God, the governor of our beings.  Take life a step at a time, and do it under the power of the Holy Spirit.  We are not our own after this.  We are exalted!

4.  Working in the spirit...  after submitting ourselves, we walk, but when we start our work days on Monday, or whenever, in class or whatever, we forget.  We must be changers of the way society works, by loving in ways nobody has seen, or ways that are rarely seen.  We influence in our workplaces, we care.  We evangelize when the time is right.  Our work ethic is improved, our strength is greater, our endurance is greater, and our attitudes are moved and shifted into attitudes of Shabach!  Glorifying God in all we do, thanking Him, counting our blessings, and sowing more!  Thus reaping more.  Amazing how this stuff works.  And I will never ever have this all figured out.  None of us will.  God is so mysterious, yet so easy to love, and so simple, everyone can connect, yet no human being will have His ways figured out. 

We have the victory, and God will not move us into victory, He will move us BECAUSE of victory!  Why?  We already are victorious. Thanks to Jesus. 

Basically we have our full potential in us, we just need to access it by prayer, and acknowledgement of our gifts.  There is more to life than what we see, people.  There is so much more.  So much mystery, newness, beginnings. 

What God is Saying...

So I have not written anything, probably because I have not been inspired.  This summer has been kind of a drought.  But I have noticed the strength that has come of it all.  What is God saying?  I am trying to listen for God, and His voice is not always audible.  He can speak in many ways, and through other people.  God has said a few things through various ways

* This year is going to be a year of blessings, as last year was difficult yet I stayed dedicated to the Lord.
*This year God wants me to know how much He loves me, and that will be through a variety of ways.
*He may want me in Chicago an extra semester...
*Never underestimate what God  can do....


That is a brief summary, more to come.

A Quick Note

We're in a time where resources are hard to come by.  We are in a time, when it is essential that we differentiate ourselves, and see and embrace the differences in our character and vision.  Imagine is everyone had a vision for something, and built upon it to manifest into their greatest potential.  If everyone did this, our world would be such a thriving place.  Especially if it was all done for the good of one another, not to harm one another.  God did not design us to follow the norm of one another.  What IS acceptable anymore?  It gets confusing.   Life is so much more and has so much more to offer, life is good ultimately, and God wants us to live good lives!  Of course we will struggle, and there will be hard times, but the good should overpower the bad.  After all, God knows our every desire and need, and will fulfill them as we ask.  This should be celebrated and acknowledged!

Faith

Introduction:  In the Kingdom of God, we do not necessarily see the spiritual realm of what is going on, as we do in the physical realm.  God strengthens our hearts and minds to be in alignment with His heart, so that the power of the Holy Spirit is manifested and the Kingdom is established into reality.  What we do not see is in fact more real than what we see.  God is so much more real than this world can be.  God is so real, we can’t wrap our minds around the glory and goodness and love of God.  What I want to talk about is faith today.  Let me speak this scripture from The Message:

              Hebrews 11:1, 3: Faith is being SURE of what I hope for and CERTAIN of what I don't see...  By faith I understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.

              When I was in High School my first couple of years I struggled with making friends.  People would put on acts, as if they were my friends, so I would open up to them, just to have them turn and use that against me, and this happened more than once.  My faith in God, and humanity in general, was hindered to the point that I lost hope in people.  I had God, and I could not see beyond the circumstances I was in.  In this time, I would pray and ask God to send me some good people, kind people.  Friends, people I could hang out with.  After serving at a church camp one summer, I found that there really were good people out there, and I could be loved.  One day, I was praying and playing music in a small practice room in my school when a girl came in, asking me to join her band.  By the end of the week, I had 7 friends, soon to become my 7 very good friends.  God answered my prayer, I had the Kingdom faith that He would follow through, I proclaimed the Word, and I gave the situation up to Him, and He worked it out. 

              Romans 15:13: May God, the source of hope, fill me with ALL joy and peace by means of my faith in Him, so that my hope will continue to grow by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

Big Idea:  God wants to strengthen our faith.  In the Kingdom of God, faith is the currency, and love is what we do.  God wants to pour into your hearts hope, and faith that will become stronger, the more time we spend with God. 

              Romans 10:17 Faith comes from LISTENING to this message of the good news- the Good News about Jesus Christ. 

              Romans 5:2: Through Him I have access by faith into this grace in which I safely stand.  And I rejoice and exult in my hope of experiencing and enjoying the glory of God. 

Point 1:  Faith is strengthened by speaking His word, the power of our words will do wonders. 

Mark 11:23: Whoever says to this mountain, "Be lifted up and thrown into the sea!" And does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him.

2 Corinthians 4:13-15: And since we have the same spirit of faith in accordance with what is written ‘I believed therefore I spoke’ we also believe and therefore speak, knowing that the One who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and present us with you.  For all this is because of you, so that grace, extended through more and more people, may cause thanksgiving to overflow God’s glory.

By Speaking the word of God, we back up His promise that He made us. The promise, whatsoever we ask in His name, it shall be done.  We can say to the mountains in our lives, to be thrown into the sea, and recite the verse, which even though God knows our hearts before we speak, this will show Him that we are truly serious about what we desire.  When we ask our parents for something, they will ask us ‘Why do you need this?’  Thus, we give them an appropriate answer as to why we need it.  God is our Father, we are His children.  Our relationship with God and our intimacy with God ought to be so strong, that we can come to Him as if He were our loving parents.  Jesus spoke in the gospels.  When Jesus healed, He had faith, AND He spoke for them to be healed.  In Genesis, God said and it was. 

Point 2:  Faith is most important when we cannot see beyond our current circumstances.

Hebrews 11:1, 3: Faith is being SURE of what I hope for and CERTAIN of what I don't see...  By faith I understand that the universe was formed at God's command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.  

In times of tribulation, or our bad seasons in life, this is the test that God puts on our faith.  God will reward our faith in the end, but for the time being, we must maintain our faith, and strengthen it, and remember that what we have asked for, we have already received in Jesus’ name as He shed His precious blood for us, and ascended into Heaven, sending down the Holy Spirit into our hearts.  Our faith will strengthen the more time we spend in prayer and fasting with God. 

Luke 2:40: I am growing and becoming strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God is upon me. 

Point 3:  Faith is essential and comes to us by hearing the word of God.

Romans 10:17: Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the Word of God

Matthew 13: 19, 23: As I hear the Word of the kingdom, and grasp and comprehend it, ...it will indeed bear fruit and yield a good return.

We need to cleanse ourselves with the Word of God.  The Bible has stories, and insight, wisdom and helps us gain understanding as to how our faith is lived out.  We must love one another, and follow the principles and teachings of Jesus, this will strengthen our faith. 

Close:  Faith is essential in our life with God, and in His Kingdom.  It is our currency, and it is not about us.  It is about how we can best serve the Kingdom and bless the Lord.  If we have faith for a sports car, for the sake of having another car, that is not the right kind of faith, we need selfless faith, and a strong foundation is found in His Word. 

Spiritual Governance

Sometimes I wonder what the Kingdom of God will look like when Jesus comes back to fulfill His Promise and rule over the world.  Already anointed people are rising up all over the world to proclaim, and equip people by the masses for God, and ushering in hundreds and thousands of new citizens into His Kingdom.

We are citizens.  A part of God's royal family in His Kingdom.  Our spirits, are governed by the Holy Spirit on this colony we call earth.  The Holy Spirit convicts us, and makes us go 'Ouch!'  The Holy Spirit also gives us rest, and comfort.  But we operate by our hearts, and our minds help us function at our potential.  Imagine. Dream big.  With God ALL things are possible.  He can make things happen that we would never dream or dare to hope for ourselves. Why?  We are in His ROYAL FAMILY! We are sinners, and imperfect beings, yet by the grace of Jesus Christ, we are redeemed into a spiritual realm of glory and gifts beyond our ever creative imaginations.  One day, when we all operate in the Holy Spirit, our anointing, and our ideas, will ALL be to glorify God, and one another, in a perfect world. Where good is seen and felt, and lived out. Praise God.



Generation

I just want to speculate on some things about this generation.  This generation, the one I am in, saw the internet evolve, as we grew up in grade school.  We saw technology morphe into such a necessity, it becomes 2nd nature to us.  Ipads, Ipods, I_____s what we have available is so cool and fascinating, access to communicate on a new level anywhere, anytime. 

It seems like we are in a highly relational time, where new inovations are being designed as I write this.  New ideas, new relationships, and new ways of doing business.  Our world is getting smaller, our big world, is getting smaller! 

But what really gets me, is the importance of networking and the power behind that.  Relationships are becoming so important, communication, and the art of communicating is going to be essential in our ways of life.  The internet sweeps us into a new plane of life, while physically we can be anywhere we wish.  This generation is passionate about justice, and humanitarian interests, soon we won't have wars, but intercession into places where persecutions take place.  Our motives will once again be established to where they ought to be.  Of peace, of justice, and of love. 

The leaders will hand down their titles to us one day, and it will be our turn to move the world.  It's essential that we know that, and that we realize our turn is coming.  Which direction will YOU make the world spin?

Confusion

Today, I have nothing in particular I feel I ought to write about, just a Sunday afternoon.  It's cold, sunny, and one of those days where time just can't go slow enough.  Dealing with circumstances in which one is not satisfied, no matter how or what they do, can be frusterating.  The response has something to do with adjusting the attitude, think different, etc.  What if I have tried that?  What if, I daily try so hard to be happy, yet seem to not quite achieve it because of where I am at?  Can thought seriously transform the circumstances around you, to the point where you go from not content, to happy? 

I think the thoughts are more what you tell yourself, vs. the situation.  If I'm lost in the forest, and I keep saying, "Life is great!  I LOVE being lost!" Will I soon, love to be lost and have a blast?  Or, would it be better for me to say "I can't stand this, but I'm good with direction... I'm not beyond what I can handle..."?  

Life can be confusing.  So can many other things in this world.  I'm glad to know that the confusion does not last!